Hyperbole are the best.

That line reminds me of comedian Steven Wright’s line, “A metaphor is like a simile.” If that doesn’t make you laugh, you are probably smarter than me…well, that should be assumed.

I’ll prove how not smart I am. I am about to call out most people for their use of hyperbole (I am trying to make the word plural, but I keep getting corrected. I am pretty sure I can just add an “s” to hyperbole to make it plural, but I think the word itself has convinced auto-correct that it has no need for plurality).

I’ve always responded poorly to hyperbole inside my head. And I sometimes let that frustration out. I’m probably wrong to be bothered, but let me explain.

The use of hyperbole seems to immediately discredit the intention of the statement.

My kids are the best ever!
It has NEVER rained like this before!
That was the worst flight!

I won’t try to tell you that your kids aren’t your favorite. I hope you like them more than you like mine. But, when you say they are the best, in all honesty, it kind of seems like you are trying to convince yourself of something you do not believe. And the truth is, they are not the best ever. Because nobody really can say that. Except maybe Mary and Joseph (Jon Acuff, was that a Jesus Juke? If I understand the word correctly, I think it was.)

Never rained like this before. Really? You may be correct. And it is verifiable. But as soon as you say it, all I can do is stop listening to anything else you are saying and think about how to prove you right or wrong. I mean come on…The Flood. You know, Noah. (Is it a Jesus Juke if it is in the Old Testament?) Even if I eliminate The Flood of Genesis, I am pretty sure it has rained more somewhere sometime.

Your flight was the worst ever? It landed I assume. You are talking. Those two realities alone disqualify your statement. Unless you were on the flight that crashed landed and you had to eat people to survive, I don’t really think you have a case. It seems to me that a plane that crashes and you die is better than one in which you would have to eat people. I don’t mean to be humorous about that. It kind of is funny, I think. But I mean it as serious.

I guess using hyperbole for emphasis is fine. That is the intention. I just don’t like it. That is an indicator of my conflicted mind. But, I might suggest that you replace hyperbole with more subjective terminology.

My kids are my favorite. I really love them.
This rain is crazy. And it gives me something to talk about.
That flight was bad. But at least I didn’t crash and have to eat someone to survive.

Respect hyperbole. It is the best word ever!